Weak
by jedigal125
Summary: A dead Padmé writes a letter to her children that will never know her. Written for mother's day. Oneshot.


**So I realized that mother's day was coming up and I figured that I would attempt to write something to celebrate. So happy early mother's day to all the mothers out there :)**

**I dedicate this fic to my mother because without you I would not be alive, I love you mom :D **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, but I do own a lot of Star Wars merchandise, does that count for anything? **

**Weak**

To my darling children,

I'm not quite sure how to start this letter. I'm not even sure why I'm writing this letter, after all it's not like either of you will get the chance to read it and it's not like you even know who I am. That would be a good place to start, by introducing myself. My name is Padmé and I am your mother.

Although I suppose I don't have the right to call myself that. After all, what kind of a mother loses the will to live and abandons her two beautiful children. I wish there were something I could say to make it seem less pathetic then that but there isn't. I don't even have any excuse that sound nearly good enough to defend my actions, but I'll try to explain.

When I found out that I was pregnant, at first I was delighted. I've always imagined having a little family and living in a small cottage on Naboo and having a fairy tale life. However, I soon started to become scared. The marriage between me and your father was a secret and it anyone knew who the father was – it wouldn't be good. I tried to ignore those fears; I kept telling myself that everything would be fine, that I would get the fairy tale ending I wanted.

It all went downhill when your father was having nightmares about my death. Which is hindsight, would be kinda funny if it weren't tragic. Anyways, to make a long story short, your father became a different person – actually from what I've seen he doesn't even qualify as person now, certainly not the same as the man I fell in love with.

Most people think that I died because your father broke my heart. While that did play a part in it, the truth is the reason I died was because I was weak. I've been strong since I was fourteen and was elected to be the queen of Naboo. But there was so much going on, democracy was dead thanks to the chancellor – I mean "emperor" - , you're father was now a shell of his former shelf, and it was during all this craziness that you two were born.

My mind wasn't really functioning at the time. I remember naming you both. But mostly I remember screaming and crying and a general feeling of emptiness. I also remember giving up. I didn't have the strength to try to stay alive. The galaxy was corrupted and I was sick of it, so I took the easy way out. I was tired of having to fight and be strong. I'm not sure what happened to me. I used to be so strong, I'm sure the past me would have lived and raised you. But I couldn't and not a day goes by when I don't regret it.

As I'm writing this letter you two have just turned five years old. Not a day has gone by – since my death – that I haven't been watching you. I used to see your father too, but it became too painful to see what your father has become. You two have grown up so fast and are the most beautiful children in the galaxy. I know every parent says that, but I also know that they're wrong and I'm right. I can already see qualities in both of you that both I and your father possessed. I love you both so much.

I suppose that's all I can say for now. It doesn't really matter though since this isn't a letter that you'll ever see. I just wanted to let you know that I love you both. I love you both so much that there are no words to describe it. I'm sorry that love was not enough to give me the strength to live and to raise you both.

I'm sorry for being weak.

From,

Padmé Naberrie Amidala Skywalker

AKA your mother

**So that's it I hope you liked it. Reviews would be really appreciated. Remember to wish your mothers a happy mother's day and to thank them for not losing the will to live and for putting up with you :)**


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